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Monday, December 11, 2017
Saturday, August 29, 2015
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
Emergency meeting
Baroness Warlus discussing with Ducky Duck and Donkee how to get Marsupilami off her tail.
Warlus in Wonderland
Unblemished in her hourglass frame
Whiskers blooming The Walrus thought:
Take another oyster-mullusk-steam shell
Wrap my lips over it And
suck the vivid contents... Out!
"Adding a few stones?" said the Rabbit
Its nose sniffing the cold air as he quickly approached Walrus on the beach
Then it blew some smoke out from a walnut pipe
and jiggled its bum
in deep thought down to its tripes
One may say the Moon is lighting the shore
He's given me the go for my gut
With Christmas on the horizon
I'm eating everything from shells to halibut
Thank God for my corset! (Pronounced "corsut")
"But you are lovely, you are!" cheered the Rabbit
(Whose secret desire for blubber made him pant all the faster.)
You move with Grace
Your steps bewilder
And few on this continent have such an appealing, whiskered face!
That is gallant of you, Mr Rabbit
True, I don't take drugs
I despise thugs
My only weakness is my tight laced whalebone accoutrement
That keeps out the bugs
Tell me Mademoiselle Walrus
This is the season of Cheer
Name any wish for these festive occasions
Any desire that knows no ration
It will be yours
There is one thing now if you propose
Promise not to renege One never knows
My cousin in Australia a Camel rides every day
Such a present
Is better than a cheese tray!
You shall have you wish! Hooted the Rabbit
Just grant me one promise
He said as he pointed his nose up at hers
You must side-saddle, ignore these latest trends
Any other position will give me the bends.
At those words there was a shift in the sweet, round Walrus eyes
Fire kindled faster in her belly that a 100 oyster dives
In one swift move she seized the Rabbit,
Breaking its neck with its long tusks
She said: "Toot, toot" and arched her bust, walking off into the dusk.
Cracked Cat meets the Pope
It was a rough night in bed. Ducky Duck couldn't sleep a wink: his friend Cracked Cat
was going to see the new Pope tomorrow. Cracked Cat was timorous about getting a benediction so early on in the Pope's Papacy but Ducky Duck was irrefutable: "Do it" he said.
(Ducky Duck reflecting on what Cracked Cat should wear to meet the Pope) 11:06 am
Cracked Cat slept well. He had faith in Ducky Duck, after all she was her best friend. True she was "special". One didn't run into transexual ducks everyday. But Cracked Cat loved her. They were in it together and the proof was ice fishing. Ducky Duck hated ice but loved fish. Cracked Cat was cracked: she loved it all. But recently she was on a poor spate: last month she only caught 2 fish in one week. Two fish! Night after night she came home chilled to the bone; her nails could hardly retract.
Two fish in one week wasn't enough to eat and usually she would catch 10 times that much!
Off she went in Ducky Duck's limousine to see Francis the 1st.
The timing was tight. Francis was just getting off his coronation. He got word from Ducky Duck about Cracked Cat coming and since he "owed a few" to Ducky, he couldn't refuse. He would have to take the cat in his private Logia and give her an express benediction. All this without a word to the press, the pontificate insisted to his entourage.
Cracked Cat showed up just before midnight. "I don't want just any benediction your Hooliness" she said, "I need a special blessing for ice fishing. Don't just Ave Maria me" she hissed, her head proudly held up, revealing a few of her sharp teeth.
The Pope got on his knees and murmured some things in latin. He then crossed Cracked Cat and said: "Ora tu puoi pescare tanti pesci." (Cracked Cat didn't speak Italian but she knew the word pesci was fish.) She thanked Francis and swiftly took leave under the look of angels and a lot of golden suffering on the walls.
The next day she was out ice fishing and she caught more fish than she could haul home. What a surprise for Ducky Duck!
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